Uncle Sal and the Primary Election (Episode 26)

Uncle Sal took the glasses from the pocket of his aquamarine smoking jacket, opened the newspaper and looked at a story about the candidates in the presidential primary election. "Will ya look at this? I never seen a sorrier buncha candidates in my life."

Mary Evelyn peered over her teacup and said, "Yes, it's not a very good choice is it?"

"Not a good choice? It's barely a choice at all. It's like asking someone if they want a knuckle sandwich or a kick to the knees. On the one hand, ya got Gordon Lever. This guy wants to make war with everyone. Not only that, he wants to raise taxes to pay for the wars he's gonna start. And the worst part of it is, he wants to raise taxes on beer. You believe that?" Uncle Sal tipped a packet of sugar into his coffee and continued. "On the other hand, ya got Nathan Jorgensen. He ain't very inspiring, but at least he's opposed to all the wars Lever wants to bring on."

He took a sip of his coffee. "And they're the leading candidates. That don't say much for the guys running against 'em."

"So, who are you going to vote for?"

"Ya know what? I ain't sure I'm gonna vote at all. Hardly seems worth it to vote for one total dunce over another."

"But Sal, you have to vote. Use it or lose it, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Only I feel like I wouldn't be losin' much if I abstained from voting for any of these buffoons." He bit into his marble rye toast and as he chewed, he said, "I suppose you're right. I prolly should vote. I ain't too excited about any of these candidates, but I guess it's better Nate than Lever."

This episode featured:
Jerardo Druke as Uncle Sal
Henrietta Mooney as Mary Evelyn
and
Jellybean Merengue as the sugar packet.

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I'm sorry about the chunk I blew on your sleeve."

[5 February 2008]