Uncle Sal picked up Giacomo in his Dodge Dart and headed on his way to the Wombats baseball game. His sand-colored stovepipe hat nearly scraped the roof of the car. After only getting a block away from Giacomo's place, Uncle Sal saw a roadside assistance truck driver assisting someone with a flat tire.
"Look at that jack. Sure, they all look real pretty, but they sure don't make 'em like they used to. I knew this tow truck driver Vern Hamel. He drove a tow truck twenny years. Not only that, he had the same truck twenny years. Everybody knew ol' Vern's orange Ford truck. Well, it started out orange. But it faded over all them years of dust and sunlight. He had the same jack all that time too. Said if his truck or his jack ever gave out, he wouldn't be a tow truck driver no more."
Uncle Sal turned left to head toward the stadium. "Anyway, Vern gets a call one night. It's raining and some guy in a suit's got a flat tire. Well, you know, Vern's gotta do his job. He goes out to this dark road in the rain and he gets his gear from the back of the truck. Right away, the guy in the suit come outta his car with an umbrella. Doesn't offer to hold the umbrella over Vern, mind you. Well, this guy, Nelson Shaw was his name. Vern never forgot it because he never met anyone as annoying. This fella is talking the whole time Vern's getting ready to work on that big ol' Chrysler. Wasn't talking about anything interesting: his business, his wife, his kids. You know, all that stuff people can bore you with."
Giacomo adjusted his Wombats baseball cap and wondered where the story was going.
"So, Vern gets his jack under the Chrysler, cranks it three times and BOOM!" Uncle Sal slapped the steering wheel. "That Chrysler come right back down on the shoulder of the road. Well, that Shaw starts cussing a blue streak at Vern. Called him incompetent and said he'd sue if his car was damaged. Vern, he didn't care about anything the guy said. He just up and left the guy by the side of the road. And he was true to his word. He never drove a tow truck again because that was the Shaw that broke Hamel's jack."
This episode featured
Hugo Furst as Uncle Sal
Adam Assenmacher as Giacomo
Jellybean Merengue as the Wombats cap
Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "She has fingernails that shine like justice."
[12 July 2008]