Uncle Sal and the Non-Standard Nuptials (Episode 34)

Uncle Sal shook the rain from his emerald bowler hat, then stepped into Giacomo's house. "I appreciate you inviting me over for some cocktails. With all this rain, a man could sure use some whiskey."

As Giacomo walked to the bar, Uncle Sal said, "Hey, you'll never guess who I ran into. You remember the girlfriend you had when you were I dunno, sixteen or sumpin' like 'at?"

"You saw Danae?"

"No. I ran into her aunt. You know the one that wears too much bright pink lipstick. Anyway, Aunt Mabel, or whatever the heck her name is, was telling me Danae's gettin hitched tomorrow."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right. And get this. She's marryin' some fella name of Cletus. Big burly fella, I guess. Mabel gave me the whole story, but you know how she can go on. I wasn't really paying attention. So she tells me all about this guy and how he and Danae met. I just went to the market to get some cheese and crackers and she's detaining me, telling me all about these two folks I barely even know." Uncle Sal took a sip of whiskey from the highball glass Giacomo handed him and continued. "One thing I do remember is her tellin' me that the wedding is gonna be like an episode of HR Pufnstuf."

"What on earth is HR Pufnstuf?"

"You kids today! You don't know nothing if it happened before you were born. HR Pufnstuf was a show by Sid and Marty Krofft. It had all these weird puppets on it, so some folks thought it was a show for kids. It was really nothin' but cheap entertainment for hippies who were stoned alla time. Anyhow, Danae and Cletus are gonna dress up like their favorite character from the show. They're even gonna do their vows in voices like some of the characters."

Giacomo chuckled. Danae was going to have a wedding like some stoner puppet show?

Uncle Sal took another sip of whiskey and said, "I don't really know too much about her, but I sure do feel bad for that girl."

"Why is that?"

"Aintcha listening? Because tomorrow she's gonna speak Krofft-y and marry a big hick."

This episode featured:
Weston Hooper as Uncle Sal
Joaquin Springer as Giacomo
and
Jellybean Merengue as the highball glass

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "Au contraire, mon frere."

[1 April 2008]