Uncle Sal and the Relieved Roller (Episode 44)

Uncle Sal sat down next to Ilse in one of the chairs at lane 12 of the Chicken Bowl and removed his forest green and rust colored wingtips. "Who'd ya say is gonna be our fourth, Giacomo?"

"Frankie Fatone."

"Frankie Fatone? That guy who's about as smart as a bowl of gravy? And just as handsome?"

"OK, so he's not the smartest guy in the world."

"Not the smartest guy in the world? He's barely the smartest guy in his own shirt. 'Member the time he broke his nose tryin' to go through a door before he turned the knob?"

"Yeah, I remember. But he's a great bowler. He will really help us in this league. As long as he's not preoccupied."

Uncle Sal chortled. "What can possibly preoccupy Fatone, 'cept where he's gonna get his next donut?"

"Well, his ex-girlfriend just had a baby boy named Ross. She's been trying to say that Frankie is the father, but he knows he isn't. Ross was conceived sometime after Frankie and his girlfriend broke up and she moved to Oklahoma. Doesn't seem to make any difference to her. She keeps hounding him, saying he's the father and she's gonna sue him for child support."

"Why on earth would she do that? Don't she know that Fatone is always as broke as a man can get? And don't she know that if her baby come from that gene pool, well, there ain't much hope for the little fella? Besides, don't she know that away from him is the best place she can be?" Uncle Sal slipped his right foot into the bowling shoe and fastened the Velcro strap. "I imagine Frankie is pretty relieved about the whole thing."

"Yeah, of course. Wouldn't you be?"

"Heck, I am relieved, just knowing that bowling Fatone didn't father no Ross."

This episode featured:
Ulysses Weiss as Uncle Sal
Milagros Jorgensen as Giacomo
Imelda Nadeau as Ilse
and
Jellybean Merengue as the Velcro strap

Tune in next week when Uncle Sal says, "I don't want no foo-foo haircut sittin' on my head."

[8 June 2008]